Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Gossip.
09/12/2007
At almost any moment a veritable stream of gossip flows through the Baronial cranium, many a reader may consider much of this to be rubbish, however the skill of the diarist remains the ability to pan a few nuggets or at the very least a pinch of gold dust from the bonce with which to entertain. Imagine then my complete surprise when the front page of the September 6th Oban Times supplied more than a tumbling highland burn of nonsense from which to glean the shining nugget required.
Top left: A proud skipper is snapped proudly before his £15million lighthouse support vessel. He should be standing in front of the hundred Clydeside welders and shipwrights who lost their jobs when the contract for this vessel was placed in Poland. Any fool knows that Gdansk rubs their palms with pleasure when a UK government contract comes up because they quote only for the price of steelwork, the Polish government will pick up the tax and labour bill. As the ink on the contract dries Gdansk will point out a translation blunder in that they have tendered in Euro rather than the required £sterling so the tender price must increase by 40%, which is handy to cover the other bits and pieces like engines etc. By which time the Clydesiders are already on the dole and no civil servant will risk ridicule by admitting responsibility.
Top Right: A photo scoop of a pixie vomiting.
Below the Pixie: More whitewash about the Oban Airport fiasco. The start of “lights” though I assume they have dropped the “f” will be delayed until next year. Many silly reasons have been given for this debacle; however the main cause is the lack of fire engines, which although available cannot get into their garages as the door openings are too small. Instead of admitting to a bit of a cock up Argyll and Bute Council are suing the fire engine people which will doubtless end in tears and considerable expense. One might take a cynical view of the councillors who accepted a golden handshake and left at the last election, and who are now below the parapet as the whole question of an inappropriate multi million overspend heads for a National Audit Office investigation.
Below the Proud Skipper: A heavily edited article about the obscene cost of “out of hours” GP cover in Argyll. Many of you will know that I am subject to a judicial injunction and must not express opinions about, or even mention the names of the tribe of Doctors in suits who control primary care in Argyll. The main defence by UberGPs in Argyll seems to be that it costs more to have a doc snoring on his camp bed in the Oban nurses’ hostel, than having a keen medico fairly whizzing round “three or four call outs” in a Central Scotland. This is blatant balls, the overriding question remains; who controls the Argyll budget, and allegedly in whose pocket does a good slice of this sizable sum end up?
Bottom left: I spy an advert promoting a chance win a “camp” bicycle. An image is conjured of bright yellow wheels, a pink frame with oddly shaped saddle. However closer study reveals that the prize is a “comp” mountain bike. Quite another thing, or so I am informed. I must get my eyes tested.
Three cheers for The Oban Times. Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.