Warm Tootsies

02/01/2006

Ah, gentle reader, now we must complain about the lack of winter rain, or more precisely a period of dry and cold weather. The ambient temperature both day and night is minus five to six degrees and that makes it bloody cold. To add to our discomfort a gentle southerly breeze springs up to give a wind chill of minus ten, without moisture we have no snow and the ground is ironbound. The toothless heavy plant troll refuses to start up his huge, but apparently delicate diesel engines in this subzero sate, and he dozes in his Range Rover to the calming sound of Classic FM. His crew,in the rusty Transit van, read The Sun and play cards, the only sign of life is the odd steaming tea bag ejected from the windows, whilst the Trollaigh family pace in frustration at lack of progress.

The only clothing for these low temperatures remains plenty of natural fibre, layers of cashmere, lambs wool, tweed, felt and an outer covering of Nubuck. The main trick is to have a wool or cashmere scarf, tight around the neck both indoors and outdoors, then almost anything is bearable. It is a good idea to have a number of active dogs to force one out of doors several times a day, via the boot room, then after the initial shock, a good tramp around the policies works wonders. So far, all the support systems of the Tower of Glen Trollaigh continue to function, however bedtime is becoming a nightmare. Dearest Dottie desires her side of The Great Bed of Trollaigh to be red hot, whilst I cannot sleep unless my bed is on the cool side. We resolve this by having separate electric blankets and individual duvets of different TOG. Dearest Dottie’s blanket is switched on with the first gurgle of the pre-prandial Hendrick’s and Tonic, whilst mine is only flicked on for the few seconds it takes me to disrobe. I have to admit that I still favour a substantial nightshirt, whilst dearest Dottie chooses the delightful, if less practical fashions of Janet Regger. Despite my age and different bed temperature disposition, my feet often slide across to the tropical side and comfortable companionship. Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.