St John

10/11/2005

Following a visit to the Kirk on Sunday, dearest Dottie had taken the text from St John to heart and had instructed me to purchase a new bull to encourage the propagation of our modest fold of Highlanders. Those of you who know me will realise that firstly, an instruction from dearest Dottie must be taken seriously and acted upon instanter; secondly, that I hardly need an excuse to fling myself into a new project involving cash to purchase the best possible beast. The weather gods aided Lachie and my quest for the perfect bull by deluging us with torrential rain and throwing westerly gales at us for a day or two thereby rendering any other work impossible. The two of us have travelled from Warwickshire to Wick attending sales and interviewing potential fathers of our fold and although we are now ten thousand guineas lighter we are the proud owners of Cecil Hector Ian of Ackworth, or “St John” as Lachie insists on calling him. Despite Cecil’s huge balls and other testimonials, I fear that Lachie is somewhat sceptical about his performance, however, we shall see. Nothing would do for dearest Dottie but than Cecil should be immediately put to the fold, despite it being a little late in the year, to say nothing of the fact that the sixty page application to the EU for permission to procreate is only just in the post. Certainly, our quiet cows have taken quite a shine to Cecil and are cavorting and frolicking as only a beamy Highlander can. This is obviously much more welcome than the attentions of the old boring bull borrowed locally. As an OAP I have visited my local surgery to receive my flu jab, and I hope all of you are doing the same. However, now that my Doctor of many years has gone and the surgery is an IT linked business enterprise with services only available during office hours, I was dragged off by nursie to be weighed and measured, probed, and prodded. Then I was given a frightful lecture about the dangers of over indulgence, apparently it is a miracle that I am still alive. The fact that Trollaighs are notoriously long-lived has been set aside by modern primary health care methods and I am to report back next Monday morning with assorted samples and having had nothing to eat for twelve hours. To paraphrase Lachie, That will be shining bright! Ardbegs here I come, Cheers! Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.