Right Wing and Tabloid

12/04/2005

I can hardly bare to listen to or watch the news, not only is it confrontational, right wing and Tabloid, but the presentation is that of the worse reality TV. The only subjects are people behaving extremely badly from world leaders to complete brainless oicks prepared to bury an ice-axe into some poor bugger’s head, thereby they all enjoy celebrity status fuelled by the same gratuitous media attention. Be it President Tony Blair selling us all down the Euro river while the Frogs dance with glee, some crazed rag top eager to de-capitate a silly septuagenarian peaceworker live on telly, or a murder victim’s heavily sedated mother achieving media sainthood by forgiving her son’s killers also “live on TV”. By the way, when did Chief Inspectors start to hold triumphalist news conferences after successful convictions? Do they ever give frank interviews every time they completely fail to solve the most simple of crimes?

Milder, dry weather brings out the local batty folk as well as the suicidal canoeists now driving large white rented vans, presumably paid for by their employers, to carry their floating burdens. I had the misfortune to meet one of our local bat-heads whilst surveying the policies yesterday. This perfect example of modern Scotland is a hugely overweight female (lack of self-control), with a poor complexion (bad diet, lack of exercise), ex-policewoman (nice pension), single mother (more cash aid, plus housing benefit, no council tax, help with energy bills), of a hyperactive badly behaved son (special needs and education, free TV licence). She has survived major unnecessary surgery (top of the waiting list, huge waste of public money), now diagnosed by local overpaid GP with M.E. (walking stick, disability allowance, sticker on car allowing free parking on double yellow lines and toll-free bridge crossings). I can hardly contain my desire to brain the bitch with a large stone, my pleasant walk completely ruined; I turn for home to face the bills and pay my council taxes, income taxes and suffer all the indirect taxes that support our wonderful socialist state. I sometimes yearn for true socialism, fair enough, I would be shipped off to the Gulag at the very least, but I would have the satisfaction of knowing that all those using walking sticks will be gassed and that all TV news presenters will be castrated and boiled in oil. Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.