Muddy Minder

09/05/2006

I have time to scribble as I watch, mournfully, as the wettest day since last winter streams down the library windows and drenches our beautiful Glen Trollaigh. Even the dogs have refused to cross the threshold of the boot room, and I wait now to see when it will stop. The weather girls had said that this was to be the best day of the week on their long-range forecast; however, Heather the Weather now issues a warning of floods until the early hours, but cheerfully declares that the rest of the week will improve. That is no good to me as we are all off to Burghley Horse Trials tomorrow where we hope to return to summer conditions. This trip will be a three-line whip for all the family and assorted old crones as I am to fulfil my duties as a patron of The Event Horse Owner’s Association, and I will report upon our return.

Saturday saw the Dalmally Show take place in heavy mud. I do enjoy this event, as more than any other it is still a local agricultural show rather than the quasi “heilan” games that are put on for the trippers. This year’s highlight was the informal meeting with Professor Crow, who attended as chairman of the Super Casino Reporting Panel. A local hotelier of some standing put forward Dalmally as a possible site for the development of Britain’s first Super Casino, and although I think it is unlikely that the bid will be successful in view of the fact that all other eight bids come from cities with populations running into millions, all the hoops have to be jumped through. The meeting, to gauge the public reaction to the proposal, took place in a small foul smelling marquee next to the Beer Tent, where many of my ruddy faced neighbours stood up to their knees in mud, swaying gently from the effects of the fumes from the adjacent facility. Prof Crow perched precariously on a stack of pallets to rise above the water table. Two early motions to ban Inveraray folk and women from the meeting were overturned amongst lively debate. Inveraray folk were to a man in favour of the proposal, Dalmally folk were all against, while the fairer sex appeared undecided. Many were in full song in the Beer Tent, or clearly incapable of decision making whilst under the influence of large doses of Valium, which is the current prescription of choice from the new surgery for those struggling with the pressures of multi channel satellite daytime TV. Unfortunately, the meeting was inconclusive as the guy ropes of the marquee were severed by some disgruntled show committee members; fortunately, Prof Crow was spirited away upon his raft of pallets by some muddy minders, leaving the rest of us to grapple with the damp canvas. In the end, all was well when most of the meeting retired to the Beer Tent for some conviviality and many whiskey pals where delivered home by Tanya’s Taxis. For those young at heart and of strong constitution, the show dance follows in the evening. However, after such excitement, it was definitely an early return to the Tower of Glen Trollaigh for yours truly. Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.