It’s All Delicious

12/31/2007

Flatulence always seems to curse the Tower of Glen Trollaigh post Christmas festivities. Each year the puzzling problem seems to grow, however this year I was able to set aside the fear that farts are caused by over indulgence and old age, for talking to one of our younger guests she assured me that unlike the average household we consume an inordinate tonnage of home grown veg including dearest Dottie’s inspirational winter warming soups eaten by the bowl full by yours truly, add the vegetarian tendencies of many a modern visitor requiring lentils, nuts and pulses and hey presto enough methane to operate a small power plant. My tummy rumblings have been exacerbated by being shamed into starting to install the new fresh water inlet pipe that has been planned since the old pipe was severely damaged by flooding a year ago. What might one ask has this to do with wind? Well it stems from Glen Trollaigh construction techniques that require the entire household to labour up the Ben carrying heavy tools, pipes and insulation. Dearest Dottie assumes the role of engineering supervisor and with a will we set to surrounding one ton boulders with pinch bars and heaving them into perfect position, picks and shovels then come into play to smooth the route of the new water pipe. During this it has become obligatory to fight one’s way back to the Tower of Glen Trollaigh for some forgotten tool or gadget, then turn and clamber back up a thousand feet or so to the workface with lively hounds snapping at one’s stumbling heels, however the job does progress and another couple of days, weather permitting, may do the trick. Regrettably all this exercise and particularly the boulder moving has weakened the old hernia scars and stretched the tummy muscles hence that uneasy feeling of imminent childbirth and the aforesaid windy gusts.

Talking of a struggle, it has been heartening to feel the warmth of the Glen Trollaigh mob surrounding us at this time; several have been moved to tell me of their increasing fundamental belief in Christianity in the face of the ascendancy of the boorish couch potatoe and in particular the amazing fact that The Lord sent his only son to experience a full, if short life as a human. Although one young whipper snapper tried to introduce me to a new religion dubbed “It’s All Delicious” after claiming that the Christmas Dr Who special had made one of the dogs sick as a sign that a true freedom could only have been reached if dearest Dottie’s i-pod had been set to play random tracks at the Bridge of Orchy kirk watch night service rather than carols; there is always one who has overdone the bubbly! However this gives me the opportunity to reject the wet lefty’s ghastly PC greeting “Happy Holidays” and hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and look forward to a fabulous 2008, I know I do, Yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh. 

Hope you got the dead sheep out of the burn Baron - you lost me a bit with the Dr Who reference - perhaps the date this was posted indicates that there had been some drink taken ?

Happy Holidays