Irritation

10/04/2006

My mood has been shaped by thinking of the large numbers of people in the public domain who are becoming increasingly irritating. These feelings were sparked by having to explain carefully to an elderly guest that hanging no longer takes place in this country. This followed the old codger’s response to the news that the Catholic Church had sheltered a registered child rapist, in denial of his strict Supervision Order, who went on to brutally murder a Polish student working at the same Catholic Chapel. Although it is easy to make fun of the reactionary OC, one’s mind does turn to those in need of a good kick up the jacksie.

1. Lord Tebbit, who was cheered to the rafters at the Tory party conference for announcing that future Tory tax cuts will be funded by the UK withdrawing from Europe. The noble Lord looked as though he was worried about getting back into his coffin before daybreak, although one would have thought that his greatest concern should be his fellow Tories hurling him off Bournemouth pier with a pair of concrete shoes.

2. Gary “phone-in” Robertson, solely responsible for the complete dumbing down of the once mighty Radio Scotland. For some reason Mr Robertson fills most of the morning programmes between 6 am and midday. During these gruelling hours, he encourages calls from insane pensioners either pontificating on subjects about which they are totally ignorant, or by hoodwinking the researchers and breaking into discussions about Taliban headgear, to complain that the Postman has stood on their wee dog whilst delivering new walking sticks from the NHS up twenty flights of stairs. In the Tower of Glen Trollaigh, the radio is now tuned to “English” Radio Four, apart from the evening show on Radio Two with that cheeky chappie, Chris Evans.

3. Alastair Darling MP, he of the bizarre eyebrows and as a minister in charge of something has introduced legislation abolishing age discrimination in the workplace. Most laudable I hear you cry, however it is soon apparent that it is simply a thinly veiled rouse to keep the elderly in employment for as long as possible so that their tax dollars may pay for the generous pensions of the likes of the said Alastair.

4. The lunatic who decided to dress all Bank of Scotland employees in football strips last Friday. I visited their Oban branch as a favour to a friend and was forced to wait half an hour to pay in a couple of cheques, served by a David Beckham look-alike. For goodness sake, stop sponsoring football and spend the dosh on employing more servitors.

Yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.