Flustered Ferguson

01/14/2007

Our winter weather is overwhelmingly mild and wet, with a fair leavening of westerly gales or as the weather girls politely forecast “strong to severe gales”. Maintenance of the policies is now reactive rather than proactive, for it is almost impossible to follow any planned work without dropping everything and rushing off to clear fallen timber, divert floods, patch up water pipes, sort roof leaks or rescue canoeists and benighted travellers. No snow has fallen on the floor of Glen Trollaigh, nor frost frozen the facial follicles of the old Baron for many weeks, although the snow line goes up and down the mountainsides like a whore’s knickers.

Enforced isolation in Glen Trollaigh has helped with the pairing down of the paperwork backlog, although when the Postie breasts the floods much more pours onto the pile on my desk. Thanks to our weak dial-up internet connection I can now order bargains from the January Sales, instruct Adam & Company, despatch wedding presents and with some difficulty book up a Eurostar to Paris. Although I have to be honest and admit that following my best efforts with the latter, I shall be interested to see where dearest Dottie and I end up. My interest in local affairs centres on the proposed National Marine Park taking in the Firth of Lorn and west to Coll and Tiree. I cannot truthfully say that I am much in favour of this distribution of the public purse in the direction of yet more PhDs and clipboards, but I am certainly 100% against the manner in which The Executive seem determined to impose this idea on the local folk, who appear to be mainly against it. This “anti” feeling stems from the overwhelming need for the Mull infrastructure, in terms of roads, schools, harbours, transport, affordable housing etc, to be completely overhauled at the cost of many squillions before money is wasted on a vote catcher for Fluffy Greens in Morningside. I was pleased to note that a certain Patricia Ferguson, Minister for Tourism, Culture and Sport, from whom I have never had the pleasure of a chat, was severely mauled on the proposed park at a recent Holyrood Question Time. It became apparent that Ms Ferguson had not one clue about the issue, going so far off the line as to state, “Sustainable tourism is dear to my heart”. However, the obvious questions not asked were, “Have you ever set foot on Mull?” and if so “While you were there, did you ever speak to a local shepherd, farmer or fisherman?” The only positive thing to emerge from such embarrassment in the Parliament, will be that the spin-doctors will advise dropping the whole project like the proverbial hot potato. Speaking of which, as darkness crowds in, I wonder what Mhairi has planned for dinner Yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh. PS. Many thanks for your congratulations about my New Year’s Honours List gain. New Labour and some others managed to water it down a bit, but I am quietly pleased. A party is planned! A.T.