Ask Alice
10/06/2008
A joy, as always to receive so many messages about Farrington Trollaigh, the poor dear was rather neglected by the family after his marriage to the nubile Alice, dowager Duchess of Egham who was, to put it politely a bit of a footballer’s wife, with eight children to her name from a number of fathers both legitimate and otherwise. However he led a happy life and his published exhortations certainly pack out a shelf yard or two of the Great Library of The Tower of Trollaigh with popular titles such as “Never repeat oneself” followed by “Never Repeat Oneself Again” and even the uplifting “I Never Repeat Myself”, although the “Subjects Upon Which I Frequently Repeat Myself” struggled to sell more than 2000 pigskin bound fifty guinea editions in 1952. His publishing house, The House of Glentrollaigh really came to fame and fortune with the 1960’s publication of the Doctor Keith sexual survey reports, and dear Farrington cashed in on this with “O”, “Zee” and “Tee” printed at his Ashram in Puttee. Unfortunately Farrington never returned to the UK after the outrageous and unwarranted “pornography” gibe from Kenneth Tynan, who so cruelly smirked in a review that all that was needed was “A” for arse, to complete the set. I can turn to a treasured small framed photo on the Grand Piano of Farrington and the Duchess arm in arm with John Lennon caught in the low sun of an Indian evening, their white silks snapping in a cooling breeze. Interestingly the photo was sent to me by Cynthia Lennon after John’s death as she had lost touch with Farrington. Although FT passed away some time ago, I believe the Duchess lives on as a Indian tribal matriarch with whom I have not communicated for over twenty years. Speaking of messages, I must thank Salty Seaman for his comment; however his lack of residential private education is a little exposed by the spelling of “their”. A case of must try harder.
Following the tradition of some years, dearest Dottie and I have enjoyed a couple of short September breaks whilst Mhairi and Lachie have been left to satisfy our sporting guests. We visited the first ever Colonsay Folk Music Festival where a splendid time was had by all, with several kitchen Ceilidhs continuing until daylight returned. The whole event was a great success, with even the most harden Islander seen to crack a smile. Following this we ventured north to Lochinver for a spot of fishing. Once more our invitation from the Vesteys failed to materialise, indeed my enquiry at their lodge was meet by a surly serf with a hungry looking chained Alsatian. However the Inver Lodge Hotel looked after us well, although their Novelle Cuisine stretched credulity with a Cardamom flavoured Muse au Chocolate and regrettably the rivers were too low for any success with the fishing. Our return to Glen Trollaigh was met with guests moaning about the lack of central heating and poor weather, indeed we have had our first frost and a dusting of snow highlights the tops, whilst believe it or not five House Martins still circle the castellations, presumably their GPS is kaput. I am hoping for a few early nights and a pleasantly quiet time with dogs and warm tweeds, although I note in the diary that more guests are due throughout October, when they should know better. Yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.