Monday, March 26, 2007
Austrian Abonment
03/26/2007
The great doors of The Tower of Glen Trollaigh can be thrown open as spring sweeps up the glen, ushering sweet fresh mountain air into the winter stuffiness of every baronial crevice. Bright yellow daffs and vibrant pink lentern lilies stand out against dazzling white snow, whilst the local weather sage sniffs the air and fingers cast sheep’s wool to declare that a settled period of high pressure is with us, encouraging eggs to be laid and ewes to think about the perils of parenthood. The scenery matches that of the Arlberg in western Austria where dearest Dottie and I recently spent a super week of winter sports. I must admit that a few years have passed since the Trollaigh trotters skied the slopes with a tight short swing. Perhaps a little like golf, technology rules the sport, no longer will a two meter plank govern one’s tight turns, now cash and laminates, which I have only recently discovered to be an inferior flooring material, determine one’s carving radius on the white stuff and why not. We had a wonderful time on the mountains and the amiable après ski of Lech, complete with chicken racing and a bubbly birthday celebrations on dearest Dottie’s balcony, to say nothing of the “les jeune fils” competition of Bella de Notte thermals every lunchtime, a sight loved by loyal husbands of a certain age, however best avoided by those young married with all the wonderful innocent world of commitment ahead of them. To be honest, although the vast majority of Austrian folk could not have been more welcoming of the foreigner, several other miserable bastards were horrible. One assumes this to be some “Austria for Austrians” crap dating from that illustrious native, A “the dauber” Hitler. VisitAustria or whoever must tighten up their quality control to avoid drifting toward the total bolshieness of the service-less French resorts.
The lip splitting air-conditioning of the Glasgow Conference Centre has filled my last few days, thereby avoiding Beastly Broon’s Budget Balls Up, how can the even the most miserable Scottish lefty have any confidence left in this complete tosser, hopefully President Blair will manage to keep this “no hoper” in check until the SNP sweep to power in May despite The President’s pathetic last ditch effort to undermine the democratic voting system in his favour, with the Single Transferable Vote, which is designed to push out the minority parties and bolster support for the Trotskyites. One must not grumble too much when it is such an unimaginable pleasure to wake up back, at last in Glen Trollaigh and take the mutts out for an early morning stroll amongst one’s ancestral acres in a perfect midge-less morning. God it’s good to be back! Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.