Sunday, December 10, 2006
Charlotte Naturals
12/10/2006
My homecoming has not proved as restful as I had wished. After the first blissful hours the phone has never stopped, leading to several days away to hold assorted hands. And what little time I have had in Glen Trollaigh has been spent in sluicing downpours up to my oxters in glutinous mud saving the lives of suicidal sheep, digging potatoes or persuading large lumps of heavy machinery parts to reattach themselves to even heavier pieces of plant, all with very mixed levels of success.
The Scottish Labour Party held its annual conference in Oban this year and I was very pleased to see the frequent TV plugs for my favourite Argyll town. These politicos do seem to take strange advice, rather than seizing on a heaven sent opportunity to blow their own trumpet, the bullyboys of the conference spent all their time blasting away at the SNP. Many suited delegates also moaned about the car parking and the security, which I am told, included James Bond style police on Jet Skis. I do hope that several of the moaners were amongst the line of stalled cars on the southbound stretch of that apology for a trunk road, the A82, their BMWs and Audis suffering blowouts and smashed wheels following encounters with the worn and torn surface that we locals have to endure every day. The labour apparatchiks are well used to the cut and thrust of misinformation and skulduggery, but I do hope someone has a word in the Strathclyde Chief Constable’s ear. The poor soul states in his seasonal greeting to naughty drivers that they will be handcuffed and taken to the pokey for assessment, if plod considers a sobriety test to be in order. Human rights lawyers of every hue must be shaking with glee, compensation papers quivering with anticipation, for although random testing may be at best debatable, assumption of guilt breaches every right know to western man. I certainly will never condone drink or drug driving, however I do sincerely believe that money spent on high visibility, flashy roadblocks should be diverted to serious crime fighting against those hardened criminals who cause much more misery and destruction than a few tipsy travellers.
As the many mousetraps of The Tower of Glen Trollaigh snap closed behind the furniture, my dark winter evenings beside the roaring library fire, have been lightened by a very pleasant trip to a new shop in Byres Road, Glasgow; Charlotte Naturals opened by dear friends with an evening of fine wine and nibbles. I can heartily recommend a visit to this emporium for Christmas gift ideas, including a small range of superb Diana Drummond products. My wet clothes are drying, ready for tomorrow’s battle with wintery elements, so my best wishes to all my readers. Yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.