Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Different Derby Day
06/06/2006
The mercury continues to climb to 20 degrees and the Landward long range forecast indicates high pressure with weak fronts nudging the west coast throughout the coming weekend. I know that this will be good news for the Glen Orchy Kerr’s with their Irish wedding on the 10th, however I do hear that extra suitcases are being filled with outfits for every possible happenchance, although the head of the house has been proclaiming that he is taking his kilt and a couple of clean shirts. I should warn him that a kilt is like a red rag to a bull at any Irish border crossing and risky body searches are almost inevitable.
Here in Glen Trollaigh we are recovering from a hetic weekend looking after our EU Greek Tobacco Farming Advisor, rather than a trip to Epsom, however such sprees are rather frowned on by dearest Dottie, so it was smilies all round in support of tobbacco subsidies.The Greek Advisor launched into the life of the north Argyll glens energetically. She quickly picked up the trick of spoiling the dogs and flattering her host and followed up with wild appreciation of our kilted ghillies, shunned only a few weeks ago by the London Stylists. Fishing, shooting and hillwalking around the glen ridges were all attacked at breakneck speed, with the ghillies almost fainting with effort then grovelling with gratitude at the EU sized tips and bottles of Ouzo, I dread to think of the ghillies’ health on Sunday morning. The dear girl admitted to inviting a few people for Sunday lunch, our hospitality was stretched to the limit by freeloading MSPs, The Greek Ambassador and curiously the Catholic Bishop of Argyll and The Isles. Even Ross Finnie, a man seldom photographed without a knife and fork in his hands, appeared for a few seconds “opportunity”. Nana had warned us all on pain of death not to mention Tobacco, as we had to have the subsidy cheque in the bank before SERRAD twigged what we are up to. Alas, it was over all too soon and Tanya’s Taxis swept the Greek Advisor away in the failing light of a beautiful summer’s evening, carrying with her the remaining MSP hangers-on. Nana’s parting advice was that we should be appointing a Glen Trollaigh Heritage Manager and that funds for a feasibility study would be on their way first thing Monday. Apparently, we have to advertise the EU funded post; however, Nana indicated that we could “keep it in the Glen” as long as we remembered to follow all the conventions on Equal Opportunities, New Deal Applicants and all those challenged in any other way. Now, where is my CV, yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Don Giovanni And The EU Girls.
06/03/2006
Although rather overcast and misty the temperature rises to the giddy height of 15 degrees, and the brightness of green on field and in forest almost hurts ones eyes, perhaps the summer season will be with us after all our storms and cold weather. Save for the odd frost damaged plant the only other sign of our unusual spring must surely be reaching June without a midge bite; I cannot remember this happening in the past, although the buggers are around to-day, but not in great numbers. There do seem to be many more wasps then usual for this time of year, and I have been stung by one ingrate whilst attempting to rescue it from a Hendrick’s and tonic, now it must be the death sentence for any other yellow peril that may buzz too.
Much of the end of the week has been taken up with the visit from the European tobacco farming advisor. We were on stand-by on Wednesday that an N. Papadopoulos would be in contact within 24 hours and could we provide a car and driver to collect and guide N.P. from Edinburgh for the rate of £500 per day. As this is about four and a half times the income of any local cabbie, I had no hesitation in sub-contracting the deal to a delighted Tanya’s Taxis for £400 per day. Tanya duly delivered N.P. on Thursday after our advisor had spent 24 hours lavishly entertaining certain MSP’s with agricultural interests at The Caledonia Hotel, Edinburgh. Tanya was dressed in what I believe is the current style of a white Tutu with black leggings, with I felt a trifle androgynous, however I was swiftly hushed by dearest Dottie as she stepped forward to open the car door for our advisor. I was delighted to discover that this expert was Nana, a slim, Mediterranean six-footer, who after a half hour chat on Tobacco was whisked away by dearest Dottie, Tanya and Mhairi to discover the glories of the Tower of Glen Trollaigh and our new gardens. A great party followed with many gifts exchanged, our delight in our guest increased ten fold when she produced tickets for Scottish Opera’s Don Giovanni for that very night. Tanya sourced a twelve seater, and with Romanoff at the wheel, off we all sped to The Theatre Royal, Nana kept on picking up all the tabs, and courtesy of the EU tobacco growers, we had the most marvellous evening, Scottish Opera has come in for some considerable stick over the past two years, but this was world-class stuff. Tanya and Nana kept us awake on the early hour’s drive back to Glen Trollaigh with many a recital of the Mozart/Ponte arias, not forgetting Nana’s wonderful story that, had Elvis Presley appeared as the anticipated daughter of Mr and Mrs Presley, he was to have been christened Elvira. Both Nana and Tanya have managed to stay on at The Great Tower of Trollaigh, and I have my turn to introduce them to the pleasures of the hill and the river over the weekend. Viva the EU, yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.