Saturday, February 19, 2005
Bright Saturday
02/19/2005
Frosty start with a scattering of snow around the Tower of Glen Trollaigh. However, a bright blustery day, with good sunshine from 10.15. Brisk north wind brings flurries of snow from time to time, and the temperature rises to plus 2 degrees. It is frosty in the Great Bed as well, because I jumped ship last night to avoid dinner with the Boat of Garten and The Baked Bean Taster. However, as it is our favourite Saturday morning, a cup of tea in bed brings forgiveness. Another day in the Garden, or half a day as we will leave mid-afternoon to go to Glasgow for the Colonsay fundraiser. We do not catch sight of the Happy Couple, and over coffee David phones from a field in Norfolk where they have shot their quota of birds at Sandringham, but are now engaged in an inter temple trap shoot. Judging by the distinctive blast of five shot Berretta automatic twelve bores in the background, the competition is intense. According to David, the Baked Bean does have certain rights after living in the Highbury House for six months, but as it is a company house, we are quite at liberty to get him to sign a contract waiving his rights, if he is not paying a rent. This is extremely good news, and David dictates a form of agreement over the mobile, pausing as the fusillades of shots roar past. I quickly type this up on the PC and summon the Baked Bean to the Estate Office. As gruffly, as possible, I explain the situation, sign two copies and give them to him to sign and return to me, pointing out that failure to sign is, by default acceptance of the terms. The Baked Bean is satisfyingly ashen faced and twitchy. I then summon Lachie and Mhairi who have volunteered to serve the Happy Couple tonight, in our absence. I make it quite clear what may or may not be eaten or drunk, before, during or after dinner. Any nonsense, they are to contact me in Glasgow. Whistling smugly, I nip into dearest Dotty’s loo for a hot bath, and in excellent spirits head for Town. Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.
Friday, February 18, 2005
The Baked Bean Taster
02/18/2005
A stormy and wet night that befits the gloomy mood in the Great Bed. However, daylight, now just before 7.00, brings more cheer. We enjoy plenty of blue skies peppered with blustery wintery showers in a westerly airflow. The temperature settles at plus six degrees, feeling a lot colder in the breeze. However, the fires will be lit tonight as we are promised cold northerlies for the weekend. I rise early to avoid the Baked Bean Taster and make myself scarce in the garden. When I pop into the kitchen for elevenses, Mhairi tells me that “The Young Couple” ate a hearty breakfast at 10.00. By lunchtime, the blood pressure builds when I find Lachie, dressed in highland regalia, serving Hendricks and Tonic in the tenth Baron’s large crystal tumblers. I am forced to grab one myself when the Baked Bean accosts me at the Drawing Room windows and after studying the view, asks, “How much of this do you actually own”. I have a very strong desire to retort; “The whole bloody lot, you arsehole!”, however, I choke this back and mutter some rubbish about the land owning one, one does not own the land. Luncheon is a disaster of high-pitched giggles, baying and groping. Dearest Dotty is at her wits end, and makes it very clear that I am no better than a rat when I announce a forgotten engagement with the Kerrs at Arichastlich that will keep me away until the early hours. Before nipping off, I place a call to the company lawyers in London, as I am most concerned that the Baked Bean may be accruing certain rights by moving into the Trollaigh Highbury house with the girls. Being Friday afternoon, all the partners are quaffing Champagne by the bottle at Quags. David sends a very relaxed message in which he promises to talk to me over the weekend. “Just relax, Old Chump”, says he. Yeah gods! If only I could. Posted in the absence of, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.